dog gone plants!

tonight i bought a carnivorous plant.  it had a little toothed mouth in the soil hidden by all the lush foliage.  as it chewed the raw protein that i fed it, little morsels of deminerialized soil and water would spill in.  over just a few hours, the mouth grew and the fangs calcified even as the greenery started to wilt.  i swear i started to see dark blinking eyes and tangled limbs among the deteriorating root system.  before the end of the night this strange life-form had broken out of it's terra-cotta housing and started walking around the apartment.  a white furry tail that i earlier mistook as a moldy tendril of plant life started wagging.  i brushed away the drying soil and browned residue of once thick leaves to discover a white male shih-tzu staring up at me with beady hungry eyes.  that is what i get for drinking whiskey and reading warren ellis before taking a fucking nap.